We all think that no one understands our pain or can possibly know what we’re feeling. The truth is that we all feel pain, of varying degrees, and it’s that pain that we should rejoice in for it’s through pain we find the adventures and journeys of life. This is just my story, the pains I’ve had and how I found my adventure and victory. By no means is this a guide to find yourself, but it is how I found myself… right or wrong – and it was painful.
Over the last few years I’ve developed a personal life motto, “Do hard things. Take the hard and challenging path.” Aside from the typical list of forbidden profanities, in my house, “can’t”, “quit”, and “give up” are also punishable by a good taste of a bar of soap. I’m a very unsympathetic and apathetic person as I believe our culture has weakened us and made us soft. We need trophies when we don’t finish first, we need pills for every type of pain when our ancestors dealt and lived with pain. We have countless of support groups and we’ve become so nice, we can no longer tell people our true thoughts or angers. People do not need to be coddled through pain, they need to get back on their feet and learn from it, move on, and become stronger. Life isn’t easy.
I spent ten years in the active Marine Corps and one of the things I miss is the ability to tell someone what is really on your mind. Testosterone makes men what they are. Testosterone makes a man physically stronger, have a greater sex-drive, and makes a man more aggressive. But our cubicle biosphere of protection kills the first two, and our culture despises the latter.
Men nowadays gravitate towards flannel, growing beards, reading articles on The Art of Manliness, reading Wild at Heart by John Eldredge, participating in mud runs and seemingly doing everything they can to break away from this culture. We’re mocked on sitcoms and portrayed as idiots. The truth is, we are amazing single fathers who do it all on our own. We are rugged men; artistic men; straight men; gay men and we can be the men we were created without our culture telling us who we can and can’t be. We are intelligent, educated and contributing. We are wild… yet sadly, we are tamed and domesticated. Why is there a resurgence towards manliness in the last few years? The metrosexual is gone now replaced by plaid shirted, bearded and boot-wearing man… the lumbersexual. Lengthy and challenging mud runs are all the rage. Why? Because we’re craving some challenge that we cannot find in this crap-hole 9-5 corporate world.
Our standards have become twisted double-standards. If I have a 1 ounce pour of bourbon with my bacon, eggs, and coffee for breakfast, eyebrows are raised. Yet a mimosa or bloody mary are perfectly acceptable. Why? An elementary school will send a letter to all parents asking the moms to participate is such-and-such event. What a man is a single father and he's done ten times the parenting and loving for his son than his mom has ever done? Why is he not invited as a father? Why? I think we need to start asking ourselves why things are the way they are. It’s like Neo from The Matrix… he knew something was wrong with his world and he needed to break away.
I’m not promoting anarchy or rebellion – with my hard views, aggression and profanity, it may surprise you that I am a Christian, but I’m definitely not a cookie cutter Christian though. So while many will find what I’m saying offensive and hard to swallow, I’m okay with that. Like I said, I’m not promoting anarchy or rebellion – but I am promoting masculinity. For us to find again what that means, to find who we are, to become solid, stable, content and secure in who we are as men and to live it. But I think this cannot be done without a journey, an adventure, or a hard road. Don’t let that scare you… revel in it. It’s the hard path that will make you into a man.